


Too Much of a Good Thing (and a Good Thing after Too Much)

by Feekins



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: (And Even Then It's Never Seen And Barely Heard), (But It's Only In Chapter 2), Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dirk makes Bad Decisions, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sickfic, Some Humor, Todd is a good boyfriend, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 18:26:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16581752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feekins/pseuds/Feekins
Summary: Thanksgiving dinner at Dirk and Todd's new apartment was an incredible success, with the exception of one tiny, unfortunate detail - which, according to Dirk, was actually very Big and Devastating and Not, In Any Way, His Fault. Todd begged to differ - gently, though, because obviously, something was upsetting Dirk. Figuring out what was just a matter of time, patience...and an unexpected heart-to-heart on the bathroom floor.(*Chapter 1 is puke-free and can be read on its own, if preferred*)





	Too Much of a Good Thing (and a Good Thing after Too Much)

**Author's Note:**

> sdljflkds posting this before I change my mind. My first (but hopefully not last) piece for this wonderful little TV series. Lemme know what y'all think, and I'll be back to post the next part by or before Thanksgiving, anxiety be damned.
> 
> EDIT - 11/21/2018  
> Since posting this first part, not only have I switched meds to treat my depression (which, surprise, I didn't know I had) and get a better handle on my anxiety, but also, I started working a temp job this week! Unfortunately, this means the next part of this fic won't be ready to post by tomorrow as I'd originally hoped. It IS about halfway there, though, so! I'll do my best to get it out by the end of the month!
> 
> In the meantime, thank you, everyone, for your support and patience. You have no idea how much I appreciate y'all. :,D

" _You_."

To Dirk's displeasure, neither the word nor the roiling, petulant spite behind it drew Todd's attention.

Maybe it was the tryptophan. Dirk, of course, had _no idea_ what that was or what it did, but earlier, Farah had said something about it being in turkey, so as far as he was concerned, there had to be at least _some_ chance, however slight, that it was to blame, because _surely_ , Todd wasn't ignoring him - at least, not on purpose.

Or perhaps it was just bad timing, for at the _exact_ moment Dirk had opened his mouth to speak, he was drowned out by an eruption of cries, squeals, and laughter. Gripps, Vogel, Amanda, and Mona all toppled over, a pile of tangled limbs on an obviously home-made Twister mat in the middle of the living room floor, while Beast clapped and cackled wildly from where she sat cross-legged off to the side. Dirk ignored the commotion, though, didn't even flinch when Vogel screeched something about cooties. After all, Dirk was _much_ too busy. Who else was supposed to glare a hole through Todd's head? The man _deserved_ it after what he'd done!

No. No, Todd would _not_ get away with this. Dirk would make _sure_ of it. _Nothing_ would make his conviction waver - not the way Todd's grin reached his eyes as he took in the others' antics, not the chuckle that bubbled up from Todd's chest, just quiet enough that Dirk doubted he would have caught it were his head not resting in Todd's lap...and _certainly_ not the callused fingers that slowly, absently combed through Dirk's hair. It felt so _nice_ , and Todd looked so _happy_ , but these facts only made Dirk glare harder.

Unfortunately, Todd's head remained perfectly intact, the number of holes there still _maddeningly_ appropriate for his species.

Even _more_ infuriating, Todd _still_ wasn't paying attention to Dirk.

Clearly, it was time to change tactics.

Releasing a blustery huff of a breath that only _kind of_ hurt, Dirk shifted a little where he lie on the couch, tucking his head just a bit closer to Todd's body. That seemed to do the trick. At last, Todd looked down, casting him a curious glance - and that's when Dirk repeated himself with a little more venom.

" _You_."

To say Todd was unaffected would have been the understatement of the century.

"Me," he countered evenly, moving to brush errant bangs out of Dirk's eyes...only for Dirk to flinch out of the gesture with a sneer that _probably_ looked meaner in Dirk's head, but in reality only made him look like a brat.

"Are a _terrible_ assis-boyfriend."

Todd just nodded, cool as a cucumber, "So I heard. Seven times in the past ten minutes."

Unfortunately, Dirk didn't even get the time to _begin_ to formulate a smart retort. There was some scuttling and a flash of rainbow hair in Dirk's peripheral, causing him to jump, then whine pitifully _because_ he jumped because doing so in his current state made him feel _awful_. All of this led to Dirk, in pain and just barely nauseated, screwing his eyes shut in an attempt to momentarily shut out the world and _breathe_.

A sigh above him, and then, Todd took the opportunity to properly sweep Dirk's bangs to the side - a gesture Dirk most _definitely_ neither appreciated nor drew comfort from. Nope. Not him. He _was_ , after all, still mad at Todd.

Stupid tryptophan.

" _My_ tuhn widda spins!"

"You wanna man the spinner?"

Somewhere beside them, the easy chair creaked as Martin leaned forward, holding up a painted square of cardboard with a paperclip fixed to the center. Months ago, Beast would have already absconded with her new treasure - but now, she didn't even try to grab at the homemade spinner. She just sat clamoring at Martin's feet, her hands balled into excited fists.

" _Yas!!_ "

And with a grin, Martin relinquished the spinner, reaching out to muss up Beast's hair as he did so.

"Then _have at it_ , lil' lady."

" _Spins_ leddy," Beast grinned to herself, her eyes following the paperclip intently as she twirled it around with her finger.

Mona watched with a sigh, a bit put out.

"Oh. _I_  wanted to be the spinner..."

How everyone could be so lively after Thanksgiving dinner was _beyond_ Dirk, but if there was one thing he _did_ know, it was that it _wasn't fair_ that he couldn't be lively with them - through no fault of his own, of course. Again, this was all on Todd - Todd, who gently combed back the hair framing one side of Dirk's face; Todd, who made it increasingly difficult for Dirk to maintain his angry front because of how _good_ he was to Dirk and how increasingly _guilty_ Dirk felt trying to stay mad at him; Todd, whom Dirk _still_ wanted to believe was at least _partially_ responsible for his current predicament.

Bad, terrible, _traitorous_ assis-boyfriend.

With a grumble, Dirk opened his eyes, and he both loved and cursed the faintly fond smirk he saw on Todd's face.

"You're the _worst_."

Todd just cocked his head to the side and squinted down at Dirk, his voice briefly ticking up an octave, " _Am I_ , though?"

"Yes. Yes, you are."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Prove it."

"Come now, Todd, don't be stupid," Dirk scoffed, all admittedly overacted condescension as he rolled his eyes at his boyfriend. "I _know_ you know what you did - or, rather, _didn't_."

Instead of looking guilty, though, Todd took a moment to feign deep thought.

"I...didn't... _not_ say you didn't have to try everything?"

The way he said it was so innocent, but that _look_ in Todd's eye - that was all it took for Dirk's case against him to begin to crumble.

At once, Dirk fumbled defensively, "That-! _No_ , that is _not_ what-!"

But Todd was relentless: "I didn't... _not_ tell you to save room for dessert? While you were _loading_ your plate with thirds?"

Deep down, Dirk _knew_ Todd got him, _knew_ Todd knew this as well, but still, he _refused_ to admit it to himself. Admitting Todd was right meant admitting to other things which Dirk was actually trying _very_ hard not to think about at the moment, because...!

"Okay, _yes_ , but-!"

" _But_ ," Todd cut in, still somehow _so_ patient, "last I checked, I'm not your babysitter. I'm your _assistant_."

"You're-! _Exactly!_ " Eyes boggling wildly, Dirk grasped at this straw of truth, jabbing an accusatory finger up at Todd. "You're supposed to _assist_ me!"

"I _am_ assisting you."

"Well, a fat lot of help _that's_ done!"

To drive his point home, Dirk gestured down at himself as if Todd hadn't already observed the true extent of Dirk's suffering - which he _had_ , and Dirk _knew_ it, but Todd looked Dirk up and down once more all the same.

Laid out on his back, Dirk took up the length of the couch - bad etiquette for a host of the Agency's first Thanksgiving get-together, perhaps, but no one seemed to mind, busy as most everyone was preparing for the next round of Twister. At least he'd had the good sense to take his shoes off when everyone else did upon arriving at his and Todd's shared apartment a few hours ago. Still, squirming a little under Todd's scrutiny, Dirk fidgeted, curled his toes inside of his orange, yellow, and brown argyle wool socks. They matched the handsome knitted sweater he wore in lieu of his usual leather jacket.....but underneath that, his white button-up shirt was fully untucked, hiding the fact that his belt, button, and fly were all undone - because, at the moment, Dirk's stomach was too full to comfortably fit into his own jeans.

When, at last, Todd met his eyes again, Dirk could feel his face burning, and despite his best efforts, his once-searing glare had diminished to a truly _pitiful_ pout.

And Todd?

Todd's expression was just a _little_ smug and definitely _not_ apologetic in the least.

"I'm sorry, Dirk, but you overate _all_ on your own."

At once, Dirk huffed, fixing Todd with a look of incensed betrayal as he let his arm flop down over the front of the couch.

"Yup. That's right, buddy. That stomachache is your own damn fault."

All Todd got back this time was a grumble as Dirk crossed his arms and broke eye contact in favor of scowling at some point low on Todd's shirt.

Silence, save for background conversation and the rustling of the Twister mat as Gripps straightened it out. Padding of bare footsteps on the wood floor as Mona passed the couch on her way to the kitchen. Water running in the distance, a soft _clink_ of dishes on dishes, Cross barely able to contain his amusement as he shared something in a low voice - and Farah just _cracking up_ over it.

By the sound of things, everyone was having a grand old time - everyone except Dirk. Because deep down, Dirk _knew_ he'd sabotaged himself. All he could do now was deal with the consequences and _desperately_ hope they didn't snowball, all while doing his best not to think about what would happen if they _did_.

Nonetheless, he sulked.

"You don't have to say it like _that_ ," Dirk mumbled.

"No? How should I?"

The unspoken apology and softness in Todd's voice made Dirk's heart _ache_ , yet in response, he gave another grumble and a shrug. Dirk didn't want to think. If he let himself think, he'd think too much, so naturally, he had to do _something_ to distract himself, but he _couldn't_ , because he was _stuck_.

_Unless_...

After a moment, Dirk slowly attempted to roll onto his side - the better to spectate as everyone else played Twister, because _duh_ , that was the _perfect_ distraction from the noise in his brain, why hadn't he thought of that earlier? - but in the end, he thought better of it. Dirk grimaced as he settled flat on his back again, once more squeezing his eyes shut, trying to will away the churning of his painfully overfull stomach.

That was it, then. Dirk was stuck, and he had no one to blame but himself.

Needless to say, when at last, he spoke again, Dirk's voice was small and defeated.

"Just keep playing with my hair, please?"

Todd's response couldn't have been more perfect. Short, dull nails dragged along the natural part of Dirk's hair _just_ the way he liked it - and despite how yucky he felt and how much his stomach hurt, Dirk managed the tiniest of smiles. It only grew when he heard Todd whisper, so soft it was barely above a breath, "Easy. I've got you."

Thank God for that.


End file.
